What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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What do you call a black woman that's blind and has 1 leg? Handicapped

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What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

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How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

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How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

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Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

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What's better than winning a million dollars? Winning 2 million dollars!

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hi little boy you want some candy i dont know do you want some candy you creeper

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A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar together. They discuss the fundamentals and aspects of Religion.

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A man walks into a bar............. The bar explodes and everyone dies

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How many Women's Rights activists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They can't change anything.

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how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

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What's the difference between a tree and a lamp? One is a tree, one is a lamp.

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Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

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Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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Why was the pizza mad? Because he was going thorough a growth spurt and the testosterone got to him.

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A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

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Why don't women drive more? Because statistically the man offers to drive more frequently

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Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

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the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

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You wanna hear what's totally out of this world? The moon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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