Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a pack of wolverines and decided the best idea was to run away, and this decision just happened to involve him crossing a road.

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Why does the cow eat grass? A: Because it's green. (Cows are colorblind)

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What did the amputee get for chritmas? A bicycle

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What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

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you know why they're called ear wigs, right? cause they go in your ears! then they wig out? no, they kill you.

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock eater,

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A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

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What is big, green, fuzzy, and would kill you if it fell on you? A pool table.

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How do you make a dead baby float? Two scoops of vanilla ice cream and two scoops of dead baby.

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roses are red, violets are blue, get on your knees ho, and stick to me like glue.

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What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer What did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that far

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don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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Diana- hey i havnt seen you all summer. Whaaat did you do over the summer? Paul- contract HIV Diana- ...oh ...

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Cole likes to trim jaycie's butt pubes

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What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

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Chris is hairy

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What smells like bananas but is invisible? Monkey farts

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Knock knock It's open, come in

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what did the monitor say to the boy? Im a Monitor

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XD, You must really like me Nero, do you think people have problems telling us apart here?

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Christmas presents.

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how do u get the baby to stop choking? take ur dick out of its mouth!!!

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How many pupils does the teacher have? 2.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops