Roses are red Violets are blue classic

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What's black and red, and covers most of your body? Fourth degree burns. You should say your goodbyes.

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

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Nero Octavios reporting, so far all of our sectors worldwide excluding Spain, Italy and Ground Zero are secure, Nero Augustus is severely wounded but will make it, and despite the our intel Necrissa Angelo is alive and well. We have one single worry though Nero7 the brunt force of the terror attack was large and powerful, yet resistance was incredibly light when we went for the counter-strike, too light, we might have to ready ourselves for some sort of reprisal here.

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Mini mouse was brutally killed n Oakland Now Mickey is a Chinese member of the crips in Compton Remember don't forget to see the new Disney movie, Mickey Goes Gang-Bangin

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What did the kid with cancer get for his birthday? Nothing he didnt make it that far

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What’s brown and hairy? Brown hair.

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Why did the doctor not make it to his appointment in time? Because he died in 9/11!

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what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he just got paralized from the waist down and will never be able to walk again.

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what do you say to a woman on her rags? nothing.try and ignore it.you didn't hear this from me and we never talked.

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what has 911 got in commen with most bank robberies? all r inside jobs

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: my red painted d*ck

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What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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A whole 'nother.

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A bartender sees Jesus Christ, George Washington, and Adolf Hitler walk into his bar. The bartender is drunk.

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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josh moran where your Bluetooth gone?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Columbine was funny

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tired of this joke.

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What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

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Your muma is so ugly she went to a ugly competition and got kicked out "no pros aloud".

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what did the older brother do? put on a joke on anti jokes what did the younger brother do ? give it a minus score what did the older brother do ? tell him and then played gears of war 2 (they got gears 3 but wanted to go bakc in time, not like michael J fox in a car with a crazy doctor but as in play an old game)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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