A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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What's big fat and ugly? A monster

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"Knock knock." "Come in."

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Whats faster than a black guy with a tv? His brother who is a dentist and drives a fast sports car.

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Getting laid at the special Olympics.

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Why Do cats purr when you pet them? I'm actually asking a question there I don't know why.

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Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Jimmy -thatcooltyguy

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

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Knock Knock! Who is there? I am the milkman and I have your milk.

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No antijoke here.

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What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

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how do you keep a monkey from stealing your banana? shoot it

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was convicted of murder and rape

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roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

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Enough with the gay jokes, they all go one direction.

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What did the Black man say to the prostitute? Your job makes the risks of getting AIDs and other STDs much higher than the average person's.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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A Hispanic man, an African woman, and a Caucasian man walk into a bar. No one wins this round of "Racial Equality Appreciation Day's" game of limbo.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Why did the Chicken cross the roead? It didn't

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This isn't funny.

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Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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