so today, i was walking along, and i noticed that it was sunny outside.

Whats the difference between obama and Michael Jackson? Michael Jackson Is dead

DAVE : did you hear the one about the poster? MICHAEL: what?

I've got a great new 'Knock Knock Jock

Q:Why did the Grape divorce the Prune? A:Because he was tired of Rasin kids! :D

What's the difference between scrambled eggs and scrambled dead babies? I don't like scrambled eggs..

Q: What's worse than ten babies stapled to one tree? A: One baby stapled to ten trees.

My cat just died.

I got pussies, cocks, asses and bitches. In my animal store.

A boy walked in on his mom and dad in their bedroom last night they were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

TOYS TOYS TOYS IN THE ATTIC

Whats big, round and orange? A big round orange

What did the homosexual farmer say when he answered the phone? Hello

what did the lesbian say to the man? I don't like penis

What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

There once was a girl with only one buttcheek. She couldn't go poop. She died.

Why did they bury the fireman at the side of the hill? Because he was dead

Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

What do you call a Welshman with a stick up his arse? A very odd man

Why Was the student driver using his cell phone in the car? Because he had gotten in a mild accident with a midsized sedan so he was quickly dialing his AAA agent for roadside assistance so he can get back to his loving family and three children

An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

Why didn't the man get into Harvard? Because he had bad grades

Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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