What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

Chuck Norris.

What's worse than getting your dog neutered? You being the dog.

A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

What is the first letter of the alphabet? A. a B. 7 C. Mustard gas D. Because a penguin has 2 legs

Benny: Hi, my name is Benny, what's your name? A potato: ...

Santa and smart blond jump off a building who lands frost none nethither exist

A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

Whats funnier than a black man? A black president

Why did the guy eat pizza? Because he likes pizza.

(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

What do you call a man with a horse? A man

What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm Schizophrenic And so am I.

What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

"I see" said the blind man to the deaf man... On the phone

I never made a mistake. I thought i did once but i was mistaken

Whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Jay-z

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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