Hey dude when is 4th of July? I don't know.

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your mommas so fat she jumped for joy and got stuck

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What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? There is none, one is a female human being with blonde hair and the other is a headlamp with a halogen lightbulb.

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What did the cancer patient say before they died? I am in so much pain. I love you all

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I'm hungry.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 8, 9, 10

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Roses are red, violets are blue, take this medication, and call me if you have any symptoms of nausea or heartburn.

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I get more excited then my dog when I give her a treat

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why was the little boy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

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What has a skinny head and specky? Josh Moran.

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Turkey Balls

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Did you hear about the guy who fed his dog his baby? No Oh

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So you keep your knowledge sharp do you? When it comes to hypnosis and such?

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Q:How many cavemans does it take to screw in a lightbulb A: None there was no electricity back then

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

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Why did the boy not get picked up from soccer? His mom was in a fatal car accident. His dad simply forgot.

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Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To see if it could.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ryan. Ryan who? Ryan Seacrest.

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How do you make a kids parents mad? Fly an SR71-BLACKBIRD into him.

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"the president is black, my lambo's blue..." no hes not, hes bi-racial.

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Yo momma's so fat that her weight is completely disproportional to the average weight of someone her age.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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