Roses are bitches Violets are two, your mother is a bigger bitch then both

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How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

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Tunechi

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What was Jenna's favourite ice cream flavour? Keyword; was, she's dead now

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Q:what does your face and this site have in common? A:both are poorly constructed

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why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

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A black man walked out a window of a 20 story building a detective arives at the scene it was night time and he said wheres the body.

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What is frowned upon no matter what country you're in? Sex on a plane.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

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"HEY DUMB FU** THIS STUFF IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY!!!" SAID SIMON COWELL!!!

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

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A farmer accidentally trips his wife. She falls down the stairs and the farmer is quickly arrested for murder.

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What do Chinese kids have that African kids dont? Chinese citizenship and at least one Chinese parent.

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Your mamma is so fat that she is undergoing strict diet and exercise in order to reduce the risk of premature death due to health complications.

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Why was the Mexican sleeping? He wishes to decrease his risk of motor vehicle accidents.

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What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

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Why did the black man go to the store with a gun? He recently bought it a couple days before to go hunting, but it wasn't working correctly.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you call a mexican with a driveable lawnmower? Rather wealthy.. He must have a secure job to pay for a home with a lawn, and a lawnmower.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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