How many pastry chefs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. It's a fairly simple job.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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What did the famer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?!?!

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A black car pulls up early in the morning and slows down by your house You see him pull a mysterious object out of his car and point it at you, The paper boy tosses a newspaper at you

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Q: How many Jewish people can fit in a four door sedan? A: 4, or possibly 5, depending on the sedan's optional seating, and depending on whether the gentleman are comfortable enough with each other to scoot closer to allow a 5th friend to join in.

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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What is worse than an 11 year old getting raped You getting caught

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so a horse walks into a bar and the bartender syas why the long face and the horse says naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

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Why did the man murder his wife? Because she would'nt do the the dishes

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Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

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Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

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Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? He is short and finds it difficult getting from place to place.

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What can bankrupt people buy? Free stuff.

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If Chuck Norris were to be hit by a train he would die

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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Why did the kid fall off his bike? His mum threw a fridge at him.

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Yo mama is so ugly that she won an award for that

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There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

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why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

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whats small and blue? a suffocated baby

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops