Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I am a bitch, and so are you!

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Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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your momma is so fat she eats a lot of things

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Why does tundes food suck? Because he is from Africa and the cuisine is different

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

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A blind man walks into a library.

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Life is like the Titanic. You cruise along on course and everything is great -- until you hit an iceberg and 1,517 people die.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent gets brutally murdered.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, but if the ladder is shaky, you might need another to hold it up.

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Why don't they have any badminton courts in the jungle? There just isn't the demand.

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why was sally the best at hid and go seek they couldn't find her body

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Why did the kid cross the road? To show his friends that he had guts. And man, did he have guts.

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your mommas so stupid she tried to climb mountain dew well im glad your mom is intrested in trying new things

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Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

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What was Hellen Keller's favorite color? Velcro.

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A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar together. They discuss the fundamentals and aspects of Religion.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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