why dont black people celebrate thanksgiving? kfc is closed on holidays

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How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

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Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

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What is black and white, and red all over? A mutilated penguin.

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What did the blonde say when she fell out of a tree? Nothing, she shattered her trachea upon landing.

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Tom: Hey Fred. Do you wanna hear a joke? Fred: Sure Tom! (long pause) (10 Minutes Later) Fred: Tom, I thought you were gonna tell me a joke? Tom: I did, the joke is that there is no joke.

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how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

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Why did the black man go to the back of the bus? The only unoccupied seats were back there.

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Two Jewish men are walking when they see a penny on the ground. They continue walking because pennies are not worth picking up in today's economy

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Burp

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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what did the woman say? 'duhhh, i don't have a penis durr durr' (By the way, I'm trying to be not misogynistic, please let me know if you find this misogynistic in any way)

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Yo mama so fat that when she jumped into a pool she displaced more water than someone who was of a normal weight

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whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

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Your mother is so fat that she is considered morbidly obese. In fact, she should seriously consider a weight loss diet to reduce her risk of heart disease and diabetes.

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Why did the black dude die? Because everyone must die at some point.

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What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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Q. What is worse than a worm in your apple? A. Hitler

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Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

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Q: What did the police officer tell the man without a shirt on? A: Put a shirt on.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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