What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

What do you get when you cross a moose with a crépe? A moose with a crépe up his nose. -ilikecrepes97

Roses are gray, violets are gray. I am a dog.

Be careful not to say Betelgeuse 3 times, because if you say Betelgeuse 3 times, then Betellllwoow that was close.

Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

What do you call a woman who is addicted to crack, has a light mustache and huge saggy tits, has had 4 kids with 4 different fathers and makes her living giving hand-jobs behind the bus station? Mom.

Whats the difference between a man and a cat. There both different species.

So a bar walks into a man...

What's the difference between celery and a truck?

Are you from Africa because you sure look likes you've got Ebola

Optimus Prime: "GIVE ME YOUR FACE!" Shockwave: "Illogical. I have no face." Optimus Prime: "Then GIVE ME YOUR EYE!" *RIPP*

Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

why is caleb mears sucha perv? becasuee its calebbbb ahahahahahahah

How does Fred drink his milk? -computer

23 convicts were showering. One of them dropping his soap bar. The person next to him picked it up, and the one who dropped it said thanks.

I walk up in the morning feeling like pdidy who's pdidy grab my glasses out the door I have no glasses girl going to hit the city how do I hit the city ugh this confersasion is over song hmmff

What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

Who is the fastest kid in AA? Alex Solomos

knock knock whos there? your dr you have cancer

what do you get when you mix peanut butter and jelly? a sweaty black guy

what did the robber say to lady gaga to get her in the car?get in the car or i shoot you i just want your money!!

What did the... Uh, I forgot the rest of the joke.

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

Whats red, and spins at fast speeds? A baby in a blender

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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