A black man and a white man enter a public toilet. They both begin to pee at the urinals. The whiteman peers over to the blackman mid-pee. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype and then blushes embarassed by his own latent homosexuality. They both leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep later that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Tulips are brown, I need to stop working on my flower garden after fisting a cows butthole.

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What happens if you accidentally say your best-male friend's name instead of your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, they're both named Adam.

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what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

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y was man afaid of fire?, cuz its hot

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My girlfriend told me I couldn't satisfy her sexually. I told her she was beautiful and gave her flowers.

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What did the dog say to his owner? Bark.

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What do you call a black man that nicks your car? All we can say is that he is called the Nig

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What's green and brown, and if it fell out of a tree on you it would kill you? A billiard table?

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What did the jew say to hitler? SURPRISE!! IM YOUR NEW DADDY

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Two lifelong friends walk into the locl Bar and each order a Beer. " So how's life treating ya?" Phil replies, " Well Doug, I've got Stage Four Lung Cancer. I'm going to Die, remember?" Unfortunately, Doug doesn't remember because Doug has a Brain Tumor.

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A man walked into a bar. He got drunk and left.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead." It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Puns are terrible. I love them.

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what's the difference between a virginia, and steve keen? a virginia is,nt a knob

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A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

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A blonde walks into a bar. She enjoys a refreshing, cold beverage with friends before returning home to sleep ahead of another day of hard work as a scientist.

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Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

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What did the blind man say to his best friend? All i see is darkness and i want to end my life

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If god gives you lemons keep the lemon go to the store and buy oranges to make orange juice.

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. Why did Sally fall of the swings? She had no arms. Why didn't Jimmy help her up? Jimmy is a fish. There's a guy with no arms and no legs who loves to swim. What's his name? Bob. Ya know Bob's twin brother is in the same condition. He loves to play in the leaves. And what's his name? Russell. Why couldn't Sally swing on the swing? She had no arms. What did the girls mom tell her to do before she went to bed? Go to bed. How do you wake up Will Ferrell? You set his alarm clock to a reasonable hour. What did the fat man who had his car stolen tell the police? Someone stole my car.

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NEVER

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A man and a woman have drunk, unprotected sex, and 9 months later, they have a beautiful baby girl. What did they call her? An accident.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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