How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What's the difference between a pile of rotting shit about to be re-heated in the microwave and Kevin James's new movie "The Zookeeper" ... Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

dallen loves penis

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Mitt Romney is in the mormon mafia has magic underpants and invented Obama Care but he still lost to a Black guy Who is a fine president.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why did the plane crash? Chuck Norris was sitting in it, and thus his weight was countless times larger than the lift force of the plane.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What did hitler say to the jacket potato? Your fucked now!

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Why was the old man lying on the floor? He had a heart attack and died

thumb_up thumb_down -41

A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: "What kind of bread would you like? Brown or white?". Penguins answers: "Well, it doesn't really matter since I came here by car!".

thumb_up thumb_down -43

What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or word combinations that begin with "F" and end in "uck," such as fat duck, so you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

You're welcome. On to the next house.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Why was the chocolate black? It's not black you idiot, its white

thumb_up thumb_down -45

If you just read this, You're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Barak Obama all found a magical lamp. The Genie appeared and said, "I will grant one wish for all of you, and one wish only." Bill wished to become president. The other two thought that would be pretty cool and did the same. (ic3)

thumb_up thumb_down -45

What did the doctor say to his patient? You have 2 weeks to live.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

A fake pizza delivery guy goes to a party and tries to deliver DiGornios pizza in another companys pizza box. The party host calls the police and the guy gets charged for stealing another companys uniform and impersonating a pizza palace worker. He had to return the uniform.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

What is the difference between 1 and 2? 2 is a higher number than 1.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What grows best during the cold Winter season? The number of deaths among homeless people.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Q: Whats black and green and goes 100 mph? A: A black and white car going 100 mph.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What's white and horny? A unicorn

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did Billy die? His mother killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

why did the bear fall out of the tree? He died. Why did the raccoon fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the bear.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops