What's white, wet, and loved by women? A polar bear cub.

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what did the robber say to lady gaga to get her in the car?get in the car or i shoot you i just want your money!!

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What did the... Uh, I forgot the rest of the joke.

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Whats red, and spins at fast speeds? A baby in a blender

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What did the commentor say when he saw the "waht's worse than finding a worm in your apple...the holocaust." joke? I am offended to your cruel referance to worms.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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Sometimes i like to stand on my chair and pretend that i am a carrot.

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what do you call 4 black people pushing a car uphill? unfortunate

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you can either take the test now or on monday. (hand movement)

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Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

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Why are women such horrible drivers? Their hair gets in the way.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

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Q: What did the vomiting man say to his friend? A: BLEEEAAARRRGGHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to his wife? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the waiter in the restaurant? A: BLAAAAAARGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Leonardo DiCaprio? A: BLEEEEAAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the convenience store clerk? A: BLAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to your mom? A: BLAAAARRRGGGHH!!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Barack Obama? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!! Q; What did the vomiting man say to the King of Saudi Arabia? A: BLAAAAAAAAAAAEEEAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the bartender? A: BLLLEEEEAAAARRGHHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the funeral home director? A: BLLLEEEAAAARRRGGGHHH!!

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What did the mexican do when 3 INS workers came to his house? He showed them his papers and it turns out he was a natural born US citizen. The mexican then proceeded to invite the INS into his home for a cup of coffee but they respectfully declined

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what's the only thing worse than losing a pen before a test? getting raped by a pedifile. -teagan doherty-

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Why did man lay down? His dog ate his genitals.

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Knock knock I don't even have a door just walk in

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I slept through the Dark Knight movie....turns out I was pretty tired.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms

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Touche.try eating something, I eat low carb crap when I am too sleepy, and today I guess it works.

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How many Polacks does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to change the lightbulb, one to hold the ladder.

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T-rex: If you're happy and you know it clap your hands, oh...

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What do you call a Mexican hot dog? Lunch.

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What did Soviet children dream about? Communism.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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