you know why they're called ear wigs, right? cause they go in your ears! then they wig out? no, they kill you.

What is big, green, fuzzy, and would kill you if it fell on you? A pool table.

A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock eater,

don't do anything i wouldn't do first

How do you make a dead baby float? Two scoops of vanilla ice cream and two scoops of dead baby.

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Christmas presents.

What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer What did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that far

What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

roses are red, violets are blue, get on your knees ho, and stick to me like glue.

XD, You must really like me Nero, do you think people have problems telling us apart here?

Diana- hey i havnt seen you all summer. Whaaat did you do over the summer? Paul- contract HIV Diana- ...oh ...

Chris is hairy

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

What smells like bananas but is invisible? Monkey farts

what did the monitor say to the boy? Im a Monitor

Knock knock It's open, come in

Cole likes to trim jaycie's butt pubes

Q: What's worse than ten babies stapled to one tree? A: One baby stapled to ten trees.

Why was the prostitute unsuccessful? because she had no vagina

There was three women stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

So seriously you have never ever played videogames before?

why did the horse drop its ice cream Because it doesnt have thumbs so it cant hold the ice cream

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why don't you ask the chicken. I am sorry but I as a human being am totally incapable of understanding and communicating with chickens.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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