Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

What's black, white and red all over? A race war

Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

What do you call a girl with one leg? Eileen

roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

Two chinese friends are chatting, and one says ????????? His friend says ??????? After that, the first one says ???????????, and you keep reading this like if you understood chinese.

what is worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped

what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

What can bankrupt people buy? Free stuff.

What do you call a Muslim flying an airplane? A pilot, what did you think it was? F**king Racist dumbass

"My father walked out on me." "Oh that's strange because I saw him yesterday and he had no legs."

what happened to the little girl when she crossed the line she was shot. shes mexican

Wayne Rooney's face and intelligence.

What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

Why did the boy fall off his skateboard before running into a cross-section? Because he was shot.

Jehovas Witnesses: Summer vacation edition reality show: BItch: Do you know Jesus? Guy: Goddammit you A*Beep*SSHOLES again! I keep telling you all this is m0thertrucking Spain, I know like 500 Jesus`s living in this town alone! *slams door* Moral: Everybody knows at least something about the goddamn Jesus! Ill try asking "Is he the guy that lives downstairs?" Next time and see what happens.

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

What is worse than being killed in a car crash? Having your girlfriend in the car with you.

Why did the chicken cross the road? That is none of your concern as it invades his freedom of privacy.

Q: How do you do to get an elephant down from a tree? A: Wait for the fall when the leaves start falling you shoot it down.

Mack: Hello Jonathan: Hi Mack: My name is Mack, what's your name? Jonathan: My name is Billy Mack: You liar! I'm reading this post at anti-joke.com and whenever you reply, your name shows Johnathan! Johnathan: Well Mack, I guess you broke the 4th wall. By the way, this joke is over in 3, 2, 1...

Why didn't Jane go to school last Thursday? It was summer. No one went to school last Thursday.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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