Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

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Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

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Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your dick taste like shit.

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I'm Polish.

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you know whats worse than cantaloupe? no cantaloupe

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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your mum is so fat her patronas is a cake...

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If i was given a penny every time i hear "It's not my fault". I will have the money equal to the nominal price multiplied by the count of times i heard that phrase.

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Why did rachels computer break ? Because she was using it in the road and got hit by a bus

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An Asian, a redneck, an Irish, and an Iranian walk into a bar. All but the Iranian were asked to go back to the parking lot and park their car to take up only one space.

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Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

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Knock knock. After 1 and a half minutes of waiting, Phil assumes his friend is not home, and promptly leaves.

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what's the difference between a jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your nuts with a jew.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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What do you call a black person who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

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Knock knock Who's there? Nobody Oh, ok

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Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

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Q: a man in a camry runs over his wife. who's fault is it? A: toyota and their breaks.

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A depressed man walks into a bar. He has a drink and heads back to his apartment. On the way he was killed by another man attempting to commit suicide due to depression.

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What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

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Q: What's the difference between Rush Limbaugh and the Hindenburg? A: One is a huge, flaming, Nazi gasbag, and the other is a drug-addicted talkshow host.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its babies were being mauled by a cat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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