Q. What did the mom say to the boy scout? A. He wouldn't be a happy camper.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

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The blonde, brunette and,the red headed girls were at a store. When the blonde says......... im tired let's leave.

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Q: What did the homless man get for chritsmas? A: Frostbite

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Why couldn't the black man get out of jail? He couldn't post his bond.

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

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Roses are reds, Viloets are blue, Thank God I'm a christian, And not a jew.

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Don't you just hate it when somebody is saying something interesting and they don't finish their sentence?

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Why did the girl break her leg? Because I pushed down the staircase.

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How do you confuse a girl? Easily.

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Why was the black man afraid of leaving his house? Because he has severe agoraphobia and cannot function normally in society.

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I like my women how i like my coffee. Without a penis.

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What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

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Two muffins were in the oven...They were taken out after about 40 minutes, and then enjoyed by all.

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Two hunters are in the woods. One of them clutches his chest, falls to the ground, and loses consciousness. In a panic, the other hunter calls 911 and tells the operator that his friend might be dead of a heart attack. The operator says "Before we send a coroner instead of an ambulance, first make sure he's dead." The hunter says "Alright." There is a pause and then BLAM! "Okay," says the hunter, "now what?" The operator follows standard procedures to keep the hunter on the phone, lucid and calm. 45 minutes later, police reach the scene, arrest the hunter and begin a months-long investigation. Forensics determines that the dead hunter was likely alive prior to being shot in the face at point-blank range. The defendant is charged with first-degree murder and receives a 30-year sentence. On the 9th year of his sentence, he is stabbed in the chest 6 times by an initiate in a rival prison gang and dies the next day. He was 53.

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A black man walks into a bank with a gun. He then clocks in and takes duty because he is a security guard at the bank.

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What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

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What did the raisin say to the toaster? Nothing. The raisin lacks a central nervous system, and the toaster is an inanimate object.

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http://media.photobucket.com/image/whale%20penis/marcus1v0/whale_penis2.jpg

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What is the first thing you should do when a person is choking? Make sure the person is choking How can you tell if a person is choking? If he's going like this: aaghh gaghhg agghhh gaghhhhh ghghaghghgh

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A king's son's birthday was coming up and the king asked,"Son i'm the king. You can have anything you want." And the son said,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." For his birthday he got a rollar coster, a pizzaria, a new car, and of corse, some purple ping pong balls. The next year the king asked,"Son, i'm the king, you can have anything you want." and the son said,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." And for his birthday he got a manchin, an iphone, a water park, and of corse some purple ping pong balls. One day, the prince was driving in his car and was in a terrible car accadent. On his death bed, his father asked him one final question,"Son, why did you want all of those purple ping pong balls?" And the son answered,"Well, i wanted all of them because-" and then he died.

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What's the difference between my mom, and a bag of garbage? A bag of garbage is incapable of contracting aids

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a gardener

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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