How do you tell a crazy man that he is on fire? You're on fire.

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Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

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What do you call a person who walks but doesn't run? A power walker What do you call a person who runs but doesn't walk? Someone running to the nearest bathroom holding there crotch.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because, it realized that it was worth something in life, it had a meaning, a purpose, and a right to freedom, to go where it pleased. The chicken's first act of this freedom was to go across the street.

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why did miles cross the road? Because hes gay

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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So there was a guy in the middle of the street, how did he survive? ...He doesnt because he gets hit by a car becuase hes in the middle of the street...

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what's blue and looks like a shirt? a blue shirt

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Why did the puerto rican cross the road? To get back to his country, but then he realized there wasn't a road then fell in the ocean and drowned.

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Roses are red, The grass is greener, Every time i'm with you, I touch my wiener.

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whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

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What did the fork say to the spoon? To get to the other side.

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did you hear the joke about the vagina ....... you'll never get it

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What's green and runs through the forest? - A pack of cucumbers. What's wrong with that? - Cucumbers aren't pack animals.

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Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? because he was dead

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What did the lion say on a hot day in Africa? Nothing, lions can't talk.

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A Texan, a Mexican, a Brit and a Frenchman are on a plane that begins having engine trouble. The black box was never found.

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Guess what? What? Your dog is dead.

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A black and a white man walk into a grocery store the black man buys fried chicken and the white man buys vegtables. The men both have different opions and enjoy different food groups.

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What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus? Trying not to laugh.

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Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

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What did the cow say to his family before he left the house? goodbye, because he was going to the slaughter house to get killed for meat

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whats worse than catching your parents having sex? having sex with your parents

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Get up Look in the mirror

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops