Knock Knock. In about 10 seconds you'll be trespassing on my property, I suggest you leave immediately. Your suppose to say who's there.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A professor of literature asked me, "Young Sir, why are you burning those books?" I replied, "Because I need a fire to cremate the bones of your 3 sisters that I violently raped and murdered" He smirked in a witty and arrogant fashion, until raising his head and saying, "Bond, James Bond" He continued to massage his dick with his own pubic hairs before collapsing and dying

thumb_up thumb_down -12

It takes a minute to know somebody, an hour to fall in love, but a lifetime to forget. Once, my mom forgot me at Disney World.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did Adolf Hitler Start WWII and kill millions of Jews? Because he was a poweful dictator

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the Banana say to the human. Nothing, because bananas are not capable of talking

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A boy plays in his garden. Then he fall and his knee hurts a lot, but he doesn't cry. Do you know why? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock Knock Who's there? You have AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike they both taste good

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock knock.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A jew was walking down the street what did he see? the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have the Cadillac, Get the Guns

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did a boy get slapped in the hand? A; because he had it in the persons face

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? A: Ten babies nailed to eleven trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

You know you have no friends when you steal someone's ALIAS concept and disrespect what is perhaps the most intellectually satisfying form of humour. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what did the poor guy get for christmas POVERTY

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A black man in a hooded sweatshirt is sprinting down a back alley. He is trying to get into better shape by exercising and knows a shortcut to his house.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

YOU KNOW WHO ELSE LOVED AND NURTURED ME THROUGH MY CHILDHOOD YEARS? MY MOM.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

a white guy walks into a bar luckily he is not an alcoholic and knows when to safely stop drinking and already gave his keys to a friend.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red Violets are purple. I just realized that nothing rhymes with "Purple".

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops