Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

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My mother always said that jumping in piles of leaves was fun. That was before she died of pancreatic cancer.

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

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You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

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Your mother is so fat that if she were to fall from a great height she would hit the ground with more force than that of an average sized individual.

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My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? An ambulance.

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Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There Not Sally Why was the boy sad? Because he dropped his ice cream cone Why'd he drop his ice cream cone? Because he got ran over by a bus Why'd he get run over by a bus? BECAUSE SALLY WAS DRIVING

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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I cant believe they been together after all that shit. (person ask what) and you say your buttchheeeeks:]

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A guy walked into a bar a hundred years ago and but a pint of whiskey. He is dead now.?

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What's worse than finding out your friend is gay? Being gang-raped.

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Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

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Q: What's blue, red, and circular? A: I lied about the blue, and... uh... the red and circular part too, but everything else is true. It is an ipod touch.

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What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6 million, 1 to screw it in, and 5,999,999 to die in the holocaust.

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What happened when the black woman moved to the front of the bus? There were no seats available but everyone was very nice about it. She also asked for gum. Somebody did have gum. Which was nice.

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Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

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Why didn't John get a present for Christmas? Because John died eight months ago.

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What happens when a unicorn gets her period? You know it's a girl.

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what did one gay guy say to the other gay guy? want to suck dicks? (cause that's what gays do)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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