how do you keep a monkey from stealing your banana? shoot it

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If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

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Knock Knock! Who is there? I am the milkman and I have your milk.

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No antijoke here.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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Why couldn't the teenager go to the pirate movie? He didn't have any money.

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Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

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This isn't funny.

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Why wouldn't Rose let go of Jack? Freddie told her that he was just a poor boy and nobody loves him.

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Why did the Chicken cross the roead? It didn't

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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Yo mama is so ugly that she won an award for that

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There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

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whats small and blue? a suffocated baby

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Why did the kid fall off his bike? His mum threw a fridge at him.

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why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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What's fatter than your mum? Your mum's mum

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What is the difference between a Mexican and an a pile of crap? One is disgusting and unsanitary and the other is a pile of crap.

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What would Hellen Keller say to Obama? Nothing she can't speak.

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Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops