How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

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A pretty funny pick-up line that probably doesn't work: "Hey, do you work at Little Caesar's? Because you're hot and I'm ready.

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What is just as important as Woman's Rights? Woman's Lefts, to maintain equality.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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What do you tell your friend who has been cheating on his wife? You're a terrible human being, and she deserves better!

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what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

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Q: what sport has a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench? A:the NBA

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how do you make a baby cry? put a nail through its foot

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How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

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Yo momma so fat she couldn't even fit in a house

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why was the little boy crying? he was at his mother's funeral.

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick.

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how do you stop a rhino from charging? you shoot it with a gun until it's either dead or no longer charging at you because thats a highly dangerous situation.

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what's worse than falling and scraping your knee? living within a 10 mile radius of a Japanese nuclear reactor

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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What do you call an Arabic man who crashed a plane into a business building? A careless pilot whose recklessness caused him to crash into a building. His stupidity and lack of plane control skill led to a horrible accident that involved the death of thousands of innocent people and the death of many business people's office pets.

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Why did Suzie get raped? because she was out past her bedtime. and the morale to this story is that its funny to be raped.

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KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

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A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

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How do you make a little boy cry? Cut off his legs.

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What did the farmer say to the duck? I don't know, but the duck doesn't give a f.....

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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