what did the man say to the other man he bumped into? sorry. and they never saw eachother again

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Seriously, I am going to tell you, but you know, what would you have preferred that it was if you could choose, I am kinda insecure about these things, and people can read these messages so...

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting yours asshole clawed by a grizzly

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Why did Kelly lose all interest in men? An aneurysm in her brain popped

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two peanuts were walking down the street one was assualted

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did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

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Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

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if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

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wanna hear a clean joke? bob took a bath with bubbles. wanna hear a dirty joke? bubbles was a man :) i heard this somewhere and it made me laugh :)

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Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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What happens when 4 friends throw an egg into oncoming traffic, they hit a fire hydrant!

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Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

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What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

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Why did the chicken cross the road ( The chicken says) I dream of a world where a chicken can cross the road without having morals questioned.

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A bar walks into a man

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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What's the difference between Timmy and a car? Timmy can be brutally murdered.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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Why did the young girl fall off her bike? Because somebody threw a fridge at her.

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these jokes are not funny but there funny because there not funny aaaaaaaa pissing me off

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knock knock who's there? A worm, your dead in a coffin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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