Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

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what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

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What happened when Stephen Hawking tried to go down the stairs? He fell and suffered minor injuries.

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What do you call a lot of Chinese people in a confined place? A Chinese urban center.

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What do you call a puppy with all it's legs missing? Franklin, the quadraplegic puppy.

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Why couldn't Billy the bird fly? He was an ostrich, ostriches can't fly.

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Why do dogs walk across the street? Cause they can

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so....a guy is sitting on the couch looking out his living room window and a cab pulls up and honks..he says to himself, "wow that was quick, i just called for the cab 5 minutes ago!"

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What's the worst thing that can go wrong while trying to archieve something you desperately want? -Everything.

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What kind of doctors would you call A 30 year old chimpanzee? I would say "Plastic surgeon" but that would be unscrupulous to the chimpanzees because the tearing off or "lifting" of the owners face is because they are just animals. And should have never been kept in captivity that long anyways.

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Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

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The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Anything you like, he's blind.

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what is worse - this joke or the last one? what is worse still - sex what is worster - nothing that's not a real word what is wurst? a type of sausage

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what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

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Why did Hitler kill himself? He realized what he'd gotten himself into and became severely depressed

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had bullied 6 and his old pal 21 back in his younger days.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Whats from Hattersley? Someone who lives in Hattersley.

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A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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