Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

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Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

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What do you get when you have 5 Russians, a few 8 year olds, and guns? A kidnapping

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Hitler.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Q: What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: We are both lawyers.

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Why did the asbestos cross the road? Because it was being removed from an elementary school due to the fact that asbestos is an air pollutant which is regulated under section 112 of the Clean Air Act of 1970.

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What's worse than farting in front of your boyfriend? Farting on your boyfriends pillow and giving him pink eye.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house? She didn't either.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Horses that lose Are made into glue

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because there was a gunman on the same side of the path and it would most likely be safer to avoid making eye contact

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Hello.

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What do you call a fat man who can turn slim? I don't know

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sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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Why was Jimmy sad he couldn't play the Playstation? He didnt have one

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What do you call a man with a limp? A limping man.

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Why are orphans so bad at baseball? They don't know where home is.

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i wonder who made this website? a human

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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What's the different between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my penis up your butthole

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What do you call a man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk? A man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Pain Olympics.

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not sally

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops