When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

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Whats green and has wings? grass, I lied about the wings.

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How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

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How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

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A man walked into the woods with alzheimers......pancakes

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how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

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Grandma used to say "you only die once." Years later, I learned the wisdom behind those words.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Neither of them talk due to the fact that they are muffins and are inanimate, therefore denying them the ability to talk.

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Three explorers are walking through the jungle when they are suddenly captured by a group of cannibals, the cannibals, going through years of culture and hereditary custom, kill the explorers, skin their bodies, chop them to pieces and cook their flesh, finally they eat it giving them a prosperous feast while the rest of the world is unaware of whatever happened in that jungle.

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Little molly says she wants to have a baby when she grows up because her little baby brother died of ta-sacs 6 months after birth.

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Q: why was the baker a coward? A: his own mother told him his potential would amount to nothing more than a baker and when a dinosaur came into the bakery he ran away

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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Who is green? Mike Wazowsky.

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Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im really bad at poetry Your mums a whore

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How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

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Q: What do you get when you cross Rebecca Black and a day of the week. A: a stupid song called FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I am a bitch, and so are you!

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What's worse than finding 16 dead babies in a tree? Finding 1 dead baby in 16 trees.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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Why does everybody hates Justin Bieber? Just leave that girl alone!

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why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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