What's got 2 thumbs and a massive penis? A body parts collector I know called Harold Fortescue

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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A Muslim walks into a public library. 32 people killed in the explosion.

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As we had been trying for some months now, I called my wife to ask her the result of her pregnancy test. A stranger answered and promptly told me she was killed in a car crash.

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What do you call a fat ginger kid? Whatever his name is.

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Roses are bitches Violets are two, your mother is a bigger bitch then both

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What's worse then 10 dead babies in 1 tree? 1 dead baby in 10 trees...

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What is a black person's favorite color? There are many different colors and it would be unrealistic to believe that all the people of a single race would choose the same one as their favorite.

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Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

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What did the man with no head say to the women?

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woman's rights

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What did the Irishman say to the German? "Sorry, do you have the time?"

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Q. What did the chicken say to the buffalo? A. Nothing, this is an improbable predicament.

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SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

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How many black people does it take to tar a roof? Just one. Unless he wants to do it in a shorter amount of time and calls a few friends to help him.

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John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

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Why did moral man lose his superpowers? Because he read the pointless superpowers section and realized its pointless... Moral: yeah this is my power... :(

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Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

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Then I contracted bronchitis from the smoke. Unfortunately I don't not have time to visit a doctor to mend this debilitation. In fact, nobody does.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know I'm not a bird physcologist

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Whats brown and a fag? A bundle of sticks

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'who the f*ck let a horse in here, get it out now'.

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"is it just me or is it getting really hot in here?" "the house is on fire and we are locked in"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops