Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

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What happened to the plumber payed in gum? His family left him because he was irresponsible with his business

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John has 5 brownies, 3 chocolate bars, and 62 cookies. What does John have now? Diabetes, John has Diabetes

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Knock Knock Who's there May I come in? May I come in who? . . .What's wrong with you can I come in or not?

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Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like funny jokes but I tend to ruin the punchline by just talking too much and that's probably why no one likes me and...

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? The horse says my mom died from cancer

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Lets just say I work for some important people, not the feds that is for sure, ill tell you when we meet, not here. As for my condition, lets just say that I am profusely bleeding noseblood now and that is because I forgot to take my medication, and if I had no medicaions at all, I would have begun bleeding out of me ears end eye sockets, and ironically id die from a lot of other shit before bleeding to death, so thats not even the case. Its nothing common, but I bet people could find out about it pretty fast on wikipedia, and as much as I like throwing shit on random people here, I dont like bothering anyone with my problems, in this case, it came kinda sudden and unexpected, and I dont mind sharing my deepest aspects including this with my best friends, of which one of them you clearly are love.

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jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? ........finding a worm in your apple.

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Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

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josh roberts makes nuns hang themselves

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Why is Timmy afraid of x-rays? The last time Timmy had an x-ray, the radiation was too much for him, giving him terminal cancer, which also explains why he will die in the next 24 hours.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!!!! lolooloL!OL!olO!LO!Lo!l!LO!L!O11P!lOL!oO!l

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Why is my brother so bad at making anti jokes cuz HE HAS a sense of humor

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Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

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A Buddhist priest, and mexican drug lord, and a 12 year old girl walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the little girl and says. "Honey, you're too young to be in here." the little girl looks around and says. "Oh, My mistake." and leaves.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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How do you know when it is a Mexican's birthday? They are walking around with "happy birthday" balloons.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

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what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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