What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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If you have a stroke, call 000

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ed. Ed who? Ed Begley Jr.

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when choosing a bedtime story.... jack the rippers life stories is not a good idea... ........................................................................

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What do you do if you see a cat crossing the street? Hit it of course!

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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Remember Y2K? That could have been bad.

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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A depressed horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "Millions of years of natural selection." The horse then tries to drink away his sorrows, but the alcohol is only a temporary release from the pain he's feeling. He kills himself the next day.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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What would Helen Keller say to Obama? Wow Im really impressed that you are our nation's first black president. You're doing a great job. Except it would come out like DUUUUURNNNNNAFMKAAAALLLL

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Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

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Why couldn't Ariel talk in the Little Mermaid? Someone slit her throat.

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"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

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Jesse gets back at people who takes his job, by trying to get with their sloppy seconds.. Emphasize trying.

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Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

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Guess my favourite fruit. Peach.

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my boloney has a first name its OSCAR, my boloney has a last name its MEYER.. now bend over son while i shove my boloney in ur butt!

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What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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Why did the black guy die... Herpees he didn't practice safe sex

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What do you get if you cross a goat with a horse? Long letters of complaints by animal rights groups

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someone called someone else a frog

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What did the man say to the cat? I thought you were fake.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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