Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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What do you get when you cross a cow with an elephant? A deformed organism

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A man is on a military operation, he dies and has a funeral.

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W. If I was one thing other then a person why would I be? M. The sun. W. Aww, so I brighten your day? M. No, you're just hard to look at.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate you so suck on poo.

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Q: What did the homless man get for chritsmas? A: Frostbite

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Your momma so stupid that it's really inspiring she managed to overcome her limitations and raise such a wonderful family.

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What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

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Why did the asian man crash? He fell asleep after a long 18 hour day of driving, plus he was listening to soothing soul music.

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? several.

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What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

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Roses are red, lemons are sour, open your legs and give me an hour.

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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When life hands you lemons...you should probably get yourself checked out because life is an abstract idea...

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An Atheist sneezed. Everyone around him said, "God bless you." He thanked them and continued on with his day.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a tree There isn't a tree in my garage

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welcome to anti joke.com. you were expecting an anti joke wernt you.

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what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

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why couldnt the jew play basketball? He was handicapp

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What did the terrorist do to the small village? Destroy it with a bomb vest.

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Why did the little girl only walk half way across the street She fell into a man hole and died

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What did the kid with turrets CHEESE! say to his mom.

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A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

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Who has a higher pitched voice than the average man? A woman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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