What do you call a Mexican that sails a ship? A sailor

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? It's Doctor Green. I've got some bad news about your test results. Can I come in?

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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How many Babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

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A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

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What did the single woman get for Christmas? Raped.

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Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

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What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

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What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

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Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

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star wars kid

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Q:What did the deaf kid say to the blind kid? A: nothing deaf kids can't talk they can only have conversations with their hands,which would be pretty useless at this moment cause the blind kid can't see his hand guestures

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Vacuum, purple, zebra.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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