A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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Why couldn't jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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men, men like men= men+bed

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What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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why do some people of all races enjoy American foods? Because they can be extreamly delishus and satisfying to eat. Why dont some people of all races enjoy American foods? Because then we would all be too big to fit on earth.

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What do you say when you see a flying donkey Wtf

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I used play skyrim...but then I realsied I had a lot of exams so I had to stop

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Why did the man go to Lourdes Because he has lost all hope

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what did the handicap, gimp kid get on his test? I cant tell you.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

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knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

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Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

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"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

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Q: How much old could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Wood A:10.6 cubic metes

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Why did the Polish man cross the road? Because the doctors was across the road, and he had a doctor appointment in five minutes time.

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Why did Sally drop her Ice Cream Cone? Because her dog licked her butthole.

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Killing your friend as a joke.

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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