a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

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-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

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POOP.....People Order Our Patties

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

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A blonde was taking a Math exam, so she brought her Asian boyfriend with her. It turns out they were going to his father's retirement party afterwards.

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When is a Jewish persons bedtime? When the brain releases endorphins, causing drowsiness, which usually leads one to sleep.

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A man walks off a bus. How did he get on top of it in the first place?

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Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

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What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

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Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

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my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

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Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

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What did god say to Jesus. "Dude, she's not a virgin"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

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Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

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What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

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a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

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Why did the woman make the man a sandwich? Because the man severed his spinal cord and is no longer able to move any of his limbs.

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guess what? bannanas

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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what did the penguin say to the other penguin after they rolled down a hill, and fell into a pile of leaves then proceeded to go swimming, play basketball, go swimming again and then play ping pong and pool? nothing. penguins cant talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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