How do you minimize the likelihood of theft? Take the derivative.

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the rest of the kids during recess? Tiffany is a pencil.

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A dancer walks into a barre

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what's grosser then 1000 babies stapled to a tree?? 1 baby stapled to 1000 trees

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a woman gives birth at the hospital in china and then the doctor comes in and says doctor- i have good news and bad news for your baby mother-what is it doctor- bad or good mother-bad doctor-the bad news is that the baby is a girl and the good news is that your baby has cancer

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Who is the best person to do your nails with? Nobody, you have no friends.

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Why did the camel climb Mount Everest? Actually, he wasn't a camel, he was a very experienced mountain climber. In any case no one really knows why he did it.

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What did the T Rex say to the pterodactyl? ROIRWR!!!

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Why did a homeless man eat another man's face off? Because he was hungry.

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Why did the little boy lose his fingers? He was left unattended with a chain saw.

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What's red and can sing? Elmo

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Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

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How did the man with no legs get around? He was assisted by a nurse or relative who was kind enough to take on such a task.

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Why did the boy cry? Because he was a crybaby

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If a wood chuck could chuck wood, it would depend on whether it wanted to or not. If it did want to, it could potentially chuck an infinite amount of wood in its lifetime

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Why was the boy crying? Because him and his sister were sent to an orphanage.

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Why did the muslim cross the road? To blow up a train

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A man on an airplane is extremely frustrated by a small, screaming child. He puts on his headphones and listens to music.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing, but he did purchase whiskey with the little money he had to drink away his misery, and to suppress his suicidal thoughts that were a result of his alcoholism which stemmed from his father's abusive nature.

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Whats wrong Nero? What happened? Please pick up the phone, I am trying to call you, but it just goes from dialing to changing tunes, please do not be upset with me, what did I do wrong? I thought we had an understanding, please just pick up the phone, if you already have my number and all you got nothing to lose...

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What would make African women very happy? food and healthcare for their kids, and a proper education.

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A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

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Why was the Pizza Delivery boy crying? He was sad.

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Obama

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops