Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being hit by a plane.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I just flew in from New Zealand, and boy am I tired. It was a really long flight and I found it incredibly difficult to sleep in those seats, so I didn't bother and kept myself awake watching in-flight films the whole way.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Study from real life: My trip to Texas. (From the time when I was interested in mormon-ism.) Texan: And here is my gun collection, great for shootin yer Mexican scum. Me: Uh I am Norwegian but my ancestors where Russian or something so my skin is... Texan: *points gun at me and pushes trigger halfways* Just kidding der son, sure you aint no Mexican though? Okay just checkin ya know... Me *sweating bullets* Texan guys gun go off almost hitting me and breaking a vase.. Conclusion: He blamed me, everyone had lunch outside later, everyone kept looking at the "trigger happy MEXICAN"... Nero: By then I began grasping the fact that I was better suited for the study of the dark arts... And also learned that in Mormonism, Heaven and Hell are planets locked into war, where black people where neutral, and red people are demon supporters, but WE CAN ALL BE SAVED BY BECOMING WHITE! JUST LIKE THE ANGEL MORONI! Conclusion two: Moroni... Lol.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Three Jewish men walk into a butcher. They dont buy any pork products and thank the butcher for his services.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

You trying to be funny kid? This is a matter of security to the national degree, point zero has been compromised, unless you bring out one of these soon, I am myself going to drag your ass into prison.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worse than slipping on a banana peel? Amanda Todd's suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats the difference between a monkey and a baby? Eating a baby tastes better with saltines.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A pope meets another one

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

thumb_up thumb_down -10

The teacher asked: If you have two apples, and I give you two, how many do you have now? FOUR said the student.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? Three bee stings. Whats worse than three bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Four bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Bird is the Word. Actually 'What" is the word.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats 9 plus 10? 19

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

roses are red that fact is true but violets are violet not fu***** blue

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you make a firefighter happy? Give him a blowjob and 10 million dollars.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Chick Norris... Enough said

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops