Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

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what are you talking about. Nets are terrible. Lakers are going to be the best.

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Cody went to the store. Big Floppy Donkey Dick.

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Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

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How do you get to the store, if your car is broken down? Steal a blind girls bike, she can't ride it anyway!

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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Q: Why did Tom bought a new sweeper? A : because his grandma fired their maid

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What do you call a police officer who kills a black person? Innocent

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Your ancestors called. They want their glasses back!

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why do muslims always turn to their left? Because they don't have their rights.

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what's blue , and you can urinate on it ? a rim block.

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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Rap. Skate. Smoke.

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Don`t be mean? WOMAN! DO YOU NOT HOW TERRIBLE THE DEMAND YOU MAKE IS? ...Fine alright, I wont leave you hanging then... So I wont call. Moral: "Seriously though, I am leaving too, but I want the top comment"

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Osama bin Laden walks into a bar. Just joking, he's dead.

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What did jimmy get for dinner? Food

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What do you call 100 black men at the bottom of the ocean? A scuba group because during these hot summer months they like to cool off and go scuba diving.

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Why do black people always sit in the back of the bus? There aren't any available seats in the front.

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Those who believe that Sarah Palin is dumb are living in some fantasyland. She could damn well speak as much as anyone else!

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your asshole.

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Hey bill

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Knock, knock. Come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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