Drunk, a tweeker and a pot head are walking together when they come upon a huge wall with a large, locked gate in the middle of it. The drunk shouts "lesh shmash it down!" then passes out. The tweeker says "Dude, we should totally take the lock apart and see if there's some kind of mechanism in there holding it together that we can use to build some sort of machine for taking... oh man I gotta crap so bad! Either of you guys gota smoke?" and the pot head says "We should sit here and wait." I didn't say it was a good story

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3 guys are in a car crap manners and shut up.shut up is driving and crape falls out the window so manners goes and gets him. A cop pulls over shut up.he goes what's your name son?shut up.where's your manners boy?over there picking up crape.

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how long does it take chuck norris to watch a 24 hour video 24 hours

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Who is a pussy ass bitch and is and has a chode? - Jeff Misner

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Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

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Q: Why did the little girl fall from the swing? A: Because she didn't have arms. Q2: And why did she fall from the swing again? A2: Because she tried to get on it again.

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what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

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Knock knock. Whose there? No one, I'm trying to tell a knock knock joke.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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why did the pancake eat a spanish holiday? Because a plane crashed into his condominium

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Two black guys walk into a bar. They had too much alcoholic substances and got alcohol poisoning. Their families mourned for days and their kids grew u without a father. The end.

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Why did the blonde fail her science test? Because she spent all day at the hair salon getting her hair died from brown to blonde when she should have spent the time productively studying.

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Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

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What do blind people see when they close one eye? Nothing.

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Knock knock who's there atch watch who? bless you

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I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry". 

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An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

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whats then difference between a jew and a pizza ? A pizza doesnt scream when its put in the oven .

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Why was the boy sad? A crazed drifter killed his family and made him watch.

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knock knock? who's there Dave Come on in!!!!!

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What happened when Johnny fell off of his bike? He suffered a very tragic and fatal brain hemorrhage resulting in a lower population by a minute percentile that is undetectable by the US Census.

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How do you make a baby stop crying?you scream at it and throw it at wall

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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