Why didn't Clemson accept John Burns' college application? Because John Burns was wanted for five counts of first degree murder.

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Things i like to do when im bored; chase after ostriches take major dumps masturbate give myself major erections EJ

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A black guy and a Puerto Rican are in a car. Who's driving? Most likely one of the two, because if they were not that would be illegal.

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- why did the chicken cross the road? why? - to get to your house. - knock knock. who's there? - the chicken.

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Roses are red violates are blue, matty is gay, sebby is too

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What's 1+5 2+4 3+3 4+2 5+1 Whats 6+1 If you said 6 you're stupid.

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roses are red, violets are blue, get on your knees ho, and stick to me like glue.

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What do you call a midget cripple with cerebral palsy? Unfortunate

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An overweight person falls down the stairs.. They had to be taken to A&E as they suffered very serious injuries.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

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How do you offend a black person? Call him a nigger.

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What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

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Fact: Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people one will always disagree with the other nine.

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I was typing a new book today (literature wild west, and I realized I had been writing the same shit over and over again for eight hours and was dead tired when It went so..) Welcome to the wild west, guns! Hayballs! MONSTER TRUCKS! And then I kinda thought to myself... Is it just me or am I trying a bit too hard? So guys? What do you think, am I trying a bit too hard here? Funny story, I am tired and drank lots of coffee, so I am holding back in order to not try so hard... Not trying hard enough to hold back? I am asking you! WHY? BECAUSE YOUR ANSWER DOES NOT MATTER! ARE WE GAME?

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a man walks into a bar, he tells the bartender "im not a part of this SYSTEM"

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What do you call a camel with three humps? A deformed bactrian

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What happened when the president cut the hedge That is a highly improbable solution because he would probably have a body guard do it.

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a. get me a drink b. a would but but i got no arms

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Why was the man walking down the street late at night? Because he's homeless and has nowhere to stay.

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have you seen stevie wonder's harmonica? neither has he.

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whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

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Just gonna stand there and watch me roar. But that's alright because I am a dinosaur.

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What's long, hard, and in my pants? The SAT's... I lied about it being in my pants.

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Hey do you have a suitcase? Why? I need one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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