What do you call an earthquake on Mars? There is not enough water on planet Mars for something like that to happen.

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An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a southerner [but certainly not a redneck!], a New Englander, and a Californian), an Argentinian, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovakian, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uraguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, a Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahamanian, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Kyrgyzstani, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Taiwanese, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 47-53 Africans walk into a fine restaurant. Fortunately," said the snooty maître d', "we'll let you come in without a Thai.

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Why was the kindergartener crying in the corner? His family was poor and his father abused him.

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What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

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Why couldn't the blonde count to 70? because 69 was a mouth full:)

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The next person to submit a 'roses are red' 'joke', is cursed to always prematurely ejaculate from here until eternity

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what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

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why did the baby die? It was hit by a bus and then raped by a seal.

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What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

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whats the same between a mouse and an elephant? They are both small except for the elephant

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Anal

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Why did your mom fall off the swing? I shot him.

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Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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What's the difference between epistemological pluralism.

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Where is aodhan's ma? Jail, she was cought with a bag full of the white powder.

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How old is victor? Half past dead

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What do you call two spaniards talking in French. Bilingual.

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What is your name? My name is Jeff

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There's a Mexican and a black guy in a car... Who's driving? The Cop!!!

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What's worse than finding out your friend is gay? Being gang-raped.

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i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

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How did Helen Keller's parents discipline her? Hopefully not too sternly. There's not much trouble a blind and deaf girl can get into, one would imagine.

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Why was the woman worried? She was coughing up blood

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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