what did the little girl with cancer get for christmas? cancer

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

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Roses are Red I shit in your Stew When you eat it The joke is on you

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What do dragonflies do when they are a couple? One sits on the others head, causing the bottom dragonfly to have a loss of vision, and increases the weight on the bottom dragonfly, which increases the chance of both the dragonflies deaths.

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What do you call a girl with one leg? Eileen

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Q: why didn't the asian boy ask for a calculator? A: you don't need calculators to make shoes

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How many zombies can you kill at once? about one or two unless your Chuck Norris with unlimited powers.

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woman's rights

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A man agreed with a camel. The camel didn't agree. ... (This joke does only make sense in the Dutch language.)

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

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What's the oppicite of brown???? Something not brown.

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knock knock? come in

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Why did the koala fall of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other koala fall off the tree? It was stapled to the first koala.

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Why is elmo sad? He was brutally raped by Dora :D

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Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Your mom is soo black , she can go naked to a funeral.

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Why did all the boys come to my yard? Because of My milkshakes

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia......

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What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

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What is worse than being killed in a car crash? Having your girlfriend in the car with you.

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why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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