What do you call an giraffe? Well, you should probably call it a giraffe if you want people to think you are literate and know your grammar.

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the chicken!

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Why couldn't jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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What do you call a magic MAAAAAAAAAAAN? A magic man

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What did muscleman say to his dad? You know who else is my dad? MY MOM!

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Why were the parents sad? Because their son had a frog stapled to his face and was trying to eat his ice cream on a swing, but he had no arms so he dropped his ice cream into the street and he chased after his ice cream and got hit by a bus

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Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and complain about it.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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why did the man leave his house during a state of emergency? he didnt

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Me: Ask me if i'm a truck. You: Are you a truck? Me: No.

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Why was the little girl crying. Her dad wiped his bloody penis with her teddybear.

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How do you double any amount of cash? Stack it up and fold it in half.

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Whats worse than having cancer? Nothing....

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Chris Brown can do no wrong. False he acquired several wrongs through his mistreatment of several women.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who pooped in my garden?

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whats worse than forgetting your lunch at home? getting diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.

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What is the difference between my dog and my girlfriend? I love my dog

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whdid the cop say to the robber as he ran out of the bakery? I caught you bread handed

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender then looks down and realizes that the pirate has a steering wheel on his penis. "Sir, are you aware that you have a steering wheel on your penis?" the bartender asks. "Arrrrrrr! It's driving me crazy! I just woke up one day and it was there!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon, it looks like it could be very harmful to your health and slightly uncomfortable. Not to mention your penis is out in the open." "You are right, what was I thinking?" The pirate agreed. He proceeded to get his friend to drive him to a hospital, for drinking and driving is not safe, and steering wheels on penises are not healthy.

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Guns dont kill people...whoever pulled the trigger kills people

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: 7 is a registered sex offender.

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How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops