What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar, but then realises he's ruining his family so he calls the rehab

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How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

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Why can't hank swim? Hank is a rock.

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Everytime someone says Jamie on this website, he's referring to Dylan, cause he's to insecure to write jokes about anyone else. Please direct all jokes at Dylan Hodge, 14 years of age, living in Queensland, Australia, come to his house to watch the f a g man, suck his mothers p e n i s.

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whats 2=2? gonorrhea.

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what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

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i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

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Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If you think this is gonna rhyme, You're dead wrong.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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How did Helen Keller's parents discipline her? Hopefully not too sternly. There's not much trouble a blind and deaf girl can get into, one would imagine.

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What's worse than finding out your friend is gay? Being gang-raped.

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how man

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Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bar was part of the fence he was enclosed by.

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Why was the woman worried? She was coughing up blood

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What's the difference between an alien and Obama? - Nothing they are both aliens.

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Why did the blonde fail her science test? Because she spent all day at the hair salon getting her hair died from brown to blonde when she should have spent the time productively studying.

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What do blind people see when they close one eye? Nothing.

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Why was the boy sad? A crazed drifter killed his family and made him watch.

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knock knock? who's there Dave Come on in!!!!!

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Knock knock who's there atch watch who? bless you

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I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry". 

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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