The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

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Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

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Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... The FedEx man leaves, realizing that no one was home, and continues on with his job.

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What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

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A man and a bird are on the edge of a cliff. The man falls off and dies and the bird flies away because birds can fly and people can't.

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

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How do you get a Jew to jump off a cliff? You kidnap his family and threaten to kill them if he doesn’t.

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do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

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Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around and around? A penguin in a blender

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Do you know the difference between a dinosaur and a slice of bread? No. You're pretty stupid then.

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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what is worse than gay sex wiping your ass with sandpaper

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Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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