What do you get when you drink water? Piss.

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A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.

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Be careful not to say Betelgeuse 3 times, because if you say Betelgeuse 3 times, then Betellllwoow that was close.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause fuck you thats why

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Why do monkeys fly with their wings? Because Elephants tend to run out of battery.

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed as a clown.

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Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

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Do you want to hear a joke? No.

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what has wheels and is red. A heart, i lied about the wheels.

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Why did a jew die? It got killed by a nazi.

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Yo momma's so hot I raped her and slit her throat afterwards and hid her body in a ditch.

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Heads or tails? Heads. Sorry, I'm fresh out.

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Whats brown and sticky? A antelope.

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Birdie Birdie in the Sky, Left a message in my eye ... So I shot the little bitch

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What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? A black man eating fried chicken.

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Bob loves Anne. Anne loves Bob. No one cares.

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Forget about them, do not compare yourself to those beneath you, you always wanted to help as many as possible, in a world where everyone fights for themselves only.

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Mexican? I dont care if you are Mexican or not really, it makes no difference to me, I know you, I seen you before. But seriously, I consider you a good friend and all, and it seems we both get along, but you know after stuff happens, are we still friends then or is this all just a mating game thing for you? You can be honest with me, I am a realist, and I kinda like the idea of,the day after tomorrow, wont deny that. Its just that I dont want to lose a good friend in the process, and if this is just you trying to score, then well, I guess its still nice knowing this side of you.

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Making fun of Charlie Sheen is like shooting up in a barrel.

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God told John to come forth and recieve internal golry forever. John came fifth and recieved a toaster.

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BLACK PEOPLE! (im black so its not racist)

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Suicide isn't the answer, it's just the solution. -by Ross

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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