Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

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what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alan okay come in

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knock knock Goodbye

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Who invented chocolate? I don't know! Keep it to yourself.

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Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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These jokes don't have punchlines.

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? Because she is enjoying the meal her husband has prepared for her after a long day at her second full-time job of the day

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar

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There was a asian jew and a black man standing at a bus stop wht do you call the Freinds

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

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Knock Knock Who's There? Poop. Poop who? HAHAHAHAHAHA you said poopoo

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Andi: I have a great knock-knock joke, but you need to start it. Jake: Okay...Knock-knock! Andi: Who's there? Jake: ...

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

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Did you hear about the new XBOX releasing in Mexico. It's called the XBOX JUAN!!!

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What kind of doctors would you call A 30 year old chimpanzee? I would say "Plastic surgeon" but that would be unscrupulous to the chimpanzees because the tearing off or "lifting" of the owners face is because they are just animals. And should have never been kept in captivity that long anyways.

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two peanuts walked into a bar they both sat down and immediately left once they found out the bar was serving peanuts.

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What do you call a Puerto Rican, a Blonde, and an African woman in a taxi cab? Three people who happen to be traveling to the same location at the same point in time.

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Why did the black man get arrested? He didn't pay child support for his 12 bastard children

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Why did the woman get into a car accident? She was blind.

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A: Why do you look like a dog? B: Idk.

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Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes. They're completely harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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