What's red and bad for youur teeth? A brick.

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What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? You can't Jelly your dick into your girlfriend's ass.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

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Windows are likes prostitutes. You can have two in the front and two in the back!

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilate was a loaf of bread.

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why is stu taking so long to post a joke because he is autistic

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Why did Dom move to Wales? Because he is poor!

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Q: How do you do to get an elephant down from a tree? A: Wait for the fall when the leaves start falling you shoot it down.

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quiz is to quizzicle as test is to test___.

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Koolaid is red, Poweraid is blue, Gatorade is yellow, My urine is brown... looks like i have a bladder infection.

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What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

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What do you call a man running around town with no clothes on? Naked.

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What did the first Ethiopian say to the other? He asked for some food only to realize that the other one had already starved to death.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for ya?" The man replies, "A beer."

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Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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Where do you8 find a dog with no legs? right where you left it

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What is worse than mistaking a bottle of blood for ketchup? Mistaking a bottle of "sticky white stuff" for milk... Moral: If you are a straight man that is... As for women meh... lie all you want ladies...

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Who didnt visit the orphanage this year? Mom...

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Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A cannibal. What? You are about to die and be eaten. Asshole! i will murder you first!

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I found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school. I said, "Wow, I can't believe I just found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school." Later that day, my principal gassed the kindergarten classrooms with cyanide while shouting, "GO RAIDERS!"

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Why was Eight in court? He was involved in Nine's horrifying disappearance.

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If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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