- Anti Joke

You know what's funnier than 24? 25

Terminator XXXIVXXX Regensisysydioniosis. Watch as the terminators return in this year`s summer blockbuster, they return to a time before the birth of Connors grandfather and manage to destroy the world, then the only decision left is for humanity in another timeline to travel back as the terminators are destroyed, but they travel back again so that! But that wont happen before Terminator: Los Pollos Hermanos.

Your mother is so fat, she developed diabetes and was rushed to hospital. She might not make it.

How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

Why was the little boy hit by a bus? I pushed him

what do you call 10 black people in a red car? overcrowded

Why did little jimmy fall of his bike? His grandma threw the refrigarator at him.

DON'T OPEN IT IT'S PANDORA'S BOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no sense And it doesn't rhyme either

Comes a giraffe on a scooter to the hospital and asks: 'can I have some flour?'.

How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb, one to suck my dick!

What's orange and is a loyalist in the orange order? Caoimhin McCann?

I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry".

what's the best way to remove leaves from a tree? take them off

How do mummies keep there secrets wrapped up? They are dead.

what do call a car full of people on the side of the road? a cool explosion waiting to happen

Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

CAOIMHIN JUST BE QUITE

What do you call flashlight in an Asian kids room what ever the brand is

your mom is so ugly that she was made fun of in highschool so much that she now has social issues and a fear of close relationships which is why she left you and your father at age 5

There are 3 prisoners inside a cage. All the prisoners are blind folded and wearing hats. They are told there are 5 hats all together, 2 blue hats and 3 red hats. If one of them can answer what color hat they are wearing they are all set free. However, they have no idea what color hat they are wearing, only what color hat the other prisoners are wearing. They are also not allowed to tell what color the others are wearing. So the game begins: The first prisoner takes off his blind fold. The guard says "What color hat are you wearing?" and the first prisoner says "I don't know." The second prisoner takes off his blind fold. The guard says "What color hat are you wearing?" and the second prisoner says the same thing, "I don't know" Now the third prisoner didn't even need to take off his blind fold. He already knew the answer. He said, "Sir, I know I am wearing a red hat" The guard smiled and all the prisoners are set free. Why? If the first prisoner saw the other prisoners blue hats then he knows he's wearing a red hat because there are only 2 blue hats and 3 red hats. But he sees one guy wearing blue and one guy wearing red, so he says "I don't know." The second prisoner took off his blind fold and the same thoughts occur. If he saw the other prisoners wearing all 2 blue hats, then he knows he's wearing red. Instead, he sees one guy wearing a blue hat and the other guy wearing a red hat. So he says "I don't know" Now the third prisoner doesn't even need to take off his blind fold. Why? He heard the other prisoners saying they don't know, which led him to believe that all they saw was blue and red hats. That means if he takes of his blind fold he will see that both of the previous prisoners will be wearing blue hats and since there are only 2 blue hats available, he must be wearing a red hat.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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