What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

Did u hear about the jew that bought something not on sale? Neither did i.

Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Only musicians will understand.

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

What do you call a chicken with no feathers, no guts, and no head? Fried chicken

Q:what do u call a dead baby tied to my feet? A:new shoes

Knock knock who's there atch watch who? bless you

This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

There are 3 Chinese guys migrating to the USA, Chu, Bu and Fu. . Chu added a 'ck' to? his name and became Chuck Bu did the same thing and became Buck. Fu got sent back to china

What is black white green blue and is wet and blind and deaf and homosexual all at the same time? What ever I just described

last night i was doing some guy in the ass. i went to give him a reach around and the homo had a boner! freakin queer.

-How do fit an elefant in a refrigerator? Open the door and shove it in -How do u fit a giraffe in a refrigerator? Take the elephant out and put the giraffe in -If the king of the jungle has a meating which animal doesn't come? The giraffe because hes in the refrigerator -How do u cross a lake where aligators and snakes live? U swimm because they're at the meeting

A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

1-"What's the worst thing about a joke?" 2-"The stupid punchlines at the end" 1-"No-- when someone dies and can't live to tell it..." (laughter) 3-"What joke you guys laughing at." 2-"None of you're business" 3-"Damn I really wanted to know" 1-"Didn't we all."

Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

What happened to the boy with cancer? He died

Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

How do you tell the difference between Lila and derrek ashmore? Oh wait they both have vaginas

Why did the man lose the a race? 'Cause he has no legs

What do you call an Asian guy doing homework? A student

why did the teacher quit her job and become a musician? Because her class was very mean to her and growing up she had always wanted to play music

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapeled to the chicken

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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