What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call a house full of Mexicans? A house

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +31

WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

thumb_up thumb_down +31

a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down +31

why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why couldn't jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a house big enough to fit all the poor people in America? A fairly large establishment without quality standards.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the squirrel fall out the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out the tree? It was stapled to the first squirrel Why did the the third squirrel fall out the tree? Peer pressure Why did the fourth squirrel fall out the tree? It thought it was a game Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a squirrel Why did the postman die? He got hit in the head by four squirrels and a tree

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A Black Man Walks Into an Office For A Job Interview. The Meeting Goes Very And He Soon Has A Very Nice Steady Job.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops