Why did Hitler Commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed by the fact he had lost World War II.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Two elderly men were sat next to a children's playground... They were there to pick up their grandchildren because their parents were at work.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Meanwhile in the basement...an elderly man, who lives a lone and whose children lead their own lives and dont have much time for him, lies on the ground unable to move after having falling down the stairs. He has been there for 2 days. He is frightened and confused, he hears someone knocking and his hopes perk up, he tries to call but due to lack of water his mouths is too dry to do so. He sobs in frustration. Knock Knock [Silence] The old man cries, aware of his fate.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did a boy dying from cancer get for Christmas? The news that his cancer progressed and he would soon die. He underwent a surgery that got rid of the cancer and he was cured. He ran out of the hospital in excitement and got hit by a bus. He recovered slowly, but lived. By this time it was June and his birthday, he returned to school later that year. He got called fat and committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What is Cleopatra's favorite cookie? A: Chips Ahoy

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How many apples does it take to keep the doctor away? 1 if you throw it hard enough! haha

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Knock knock I don't even have a door just walk in

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A rapist leaps out a woman and yells "surprise!" and proceeds to have non-consensual intercourse with her. Later, he is arrested by the police and charged with sexual assault.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What kind of drugs should you take when you are too stressed? Fabulous secret magic drugs, makes all your problems go away... TRY IT! try it! TRY IT! try it! TRY IT! try it! Warning: When you take drugs, you are taking a very big DRUG.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Yo momma's so old, she lives in a nursing home and is on various medications that she needs to take to stay in optimum health.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

will you like this joke my sources say no

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what do you call a black man falling off a cliff holy shit

thumb_up thumb_down -29

I'll take a Reuben, light sauce, and could you do Provolone instead of Swiss?

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How do you remind your kids of family? You brand them with the family crest.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

haha women's rights.....what a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why? Because.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the cookie ask the glass of milk? Will you wash me down

thumb_up thumb_down -31

what is the difference between a blond and a red head? one is has blond hair and one has red hair

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

what do you call a fat black cat and a skinny white dog? Freckles and Spot

thumb_up thumb_down -31

you: your adopted me: i was so thanks for saying you ass

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A white, black, and Hispanic man walk into a bar at 2:00 in the morning. Unfortunately the bar closed at midnight, so they were charged with breaking and entering, and were sentenced to 2 years in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops