What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

What do a turtle and a bowling ball have in common? Nothing

What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

Why didn't the jew spend his paycheck? He wanted to save money for the future

"Knock Knock" "Just ring the bloody bell for once!"

So there was a guy in the middle of the street, how did he survive? ...He doesnt because he gets hit by a car becuase hes in the middle of the street...

Why did the little girl cry? Her mom died

A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

Waitress: Would you like to have a drink? Customer: (Looks at the drink's menu) Hmmmm... What are my choices? Waitress: Yes and no.

Q: What's so funny about medical records? A: You're not the one dying.

What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

speak now or forever hold your pee

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

What do you call an arab flying a plane? A pliot

Why did the chicken cross the road? Rocky was chasing him

What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

Knock Knock Who's there? Who Who who? Hoodini

How do you make a miner sad? You cut his d*ck off then feed it to his family.

What do you call a popular rap and hip-hop artist? Tunde

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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