- Anti Joke

Daughter: Dad I have some news for you Dad: What is it? Daughter: I am pregnant Dad: ... I am so happy I am going to have a grandson, my 27 year old daughter just married and now pregnant, this is a great day!

Why is it unpleasant to eat a meal with lots of basketball players? Because they will be focussing entirely on discussing tactics (especially if there is an upcoming game), and therefore will probably not be displaying good manners or making polite mealtime conversation.

A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

why did tiarnan not ride hi bike to school today? Tiarnans dead

why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

Do you believe that if I theoretically am unmatched in many ways, would feel less alone if I decided to become more like the rest?

Why couldn't the farmer drive his tractor He had no arms why didn't he have arms Because he was a potato

Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

Why was Timmy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face

I like that, yet I wonder if our subconscious knows what it is what we seek, maybe we need to tell ourselves that we will find happiness, and then the mind leads us there.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

What did the frat guy drink after he lifted? A various assortment of beverages that were chilled at a cool 66 degrees.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

Q. Why couldn't the blind black guy read. A. He's Dead

RECTUM? Damn near spelled "Wrecked Him" the wrong way!

Why did the guy eat pizza? Because he likes pizza.

Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

What did the deaf-blind kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.