Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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What's the difference between Timmy and a car? Timmy can be brutally murdered.

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A blind man who spoke English and a deaf man who used sign language went to a bar together. Although they didn't communicate they had a wonderful time.

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Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

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No antijoke here.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Listen bitch, get over here, let me poke out your fucking eyeball, and then you tell me if it is reasonable or not to fucking be pissed afterwards! As for your goddamn technique, of course I understand it, I use it too, its the ironman method as far as I am concerned. Do not share it with people here, you can go share it with your little "shadow people" but that shit took years to develop. But yeah, you tell me whatever the hell you consider "reasonable" you get me the money, and then we can see about being "reasonable". I know many of your methods, NLP, hypnosis, covert, warm and cold reading, I know you are no fucking psychic nor do you read minds, stop telling me what the hell your "Order" is, because whatever the hell it is, your "Nero`s" have proven on this site alone, that its a laughingstock that in no way could have brought six hundred people towards liking you, even less six millions.

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What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

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How many pastry chefs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. It's a fairly simple job.

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Why did the black guy get a boner? The nitric oxide levels in his trabecular arteries and smooth muscle of his penis rose, causing his arteries to dilate and therefore enlarging his penis.

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Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

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What did the caterpillar say when he emerged from his chrysalis? I am a butterfly.

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Why was the orphan's christmas sad? He got a violent chest infection and died.

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Why did the blackman fall off the bike? Because he stole it.

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What is worse than an 11 year old getting raped You getting caught

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was convicted of murder and rape

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A black car pulls up early in the morning and slows down by your house You see him pull a mysterious object out of his car and point it at you, The paper boy tosses a newspaper at you

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why should you not go to sleep in public? Because that's how you get raped.

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Why did the chicken cross the road ( The chicken says) I dream of a world where a chicken can cross the road without having morals questioned.

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What is the hottest day of the week? Wednesday

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Whats the difference between wayne rooney and shrek? Well, one, shrek is fictional. Two if he was fictional,he is green. Wayne rooney is not green. Three wayne rooney plays for a football team, surely shrek has no idea what football is. The list goes on.

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How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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