what do you call a girl with a pumpkin spice coffee in her hands? Jenifer

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Why did nobody bother to help the old lady cross the road? Because her actions in recent years had given rise to considerable division and ill-feeling within the community.

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What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

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What was Jenna's favourite ice cream flavour? Keyword; was, she's dead now

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poetry Show me your titties

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares...he didn't make it anyways..

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Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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Lol, okay you have made Nero of the clan of the Moralians the mighty laugh and go aww... Seriously, first of all, WHAT THE FUCK IS NAUSEUS? Secondly, okay its Ridge Racer, close enough, aww, seriously that sounds like the cutest thing, I mean did you bleed? DID YOU HARM YOURSELF! DELIGHTFUL... Moral: Seriously though, seeing you tilt over while playing a racing game, kinda cute, just put a pillow there next time you know just saying, because I play videogames, I cant go sexytime for hours without pumping some ADRENALINE INTO MY MIGHTY ROD OF STONEFLESH!

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Your mom is so fat that she has trouble walking up the stairs because she gets easily winded.

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roses are red violets are red the whole world is red i started the holocaust

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Q: Why did the mugger kill the bus driver? A: Because he had a gun.

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If life's a box of chocolates, I'm the dominant male.

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Two friends sit down at a table for lunch. One, in a very frustrated mood, says to the other, "You know what I don't get?" His friend immediately responds: "Sex."

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

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Knock Knock Jehovah's witnesses!

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

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a guy walks in to a bar in iraq. 10 people died because of it

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A man walks into a store with a faulty washing machine. He provides a valid guarantee receipt at the customer service desk and it is replaced without an issue

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: toothpaste

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Why did the boy drop his peanuts and crackerjacks? He had a sudden heart attack and died at the age of 10

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how do you stop a black man from drowning take your foot off his head

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What's the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The anti-Joke isn't a freaking joke. So stop freaking doing it!

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To clowns walk into a bar. They don't notice each other because as soon as they walk to a 5-yard radius, the length that was said to be the range of a clowns eyesight (which was actually said by a controversial scientist, looked on as a madman; he created a whole clown-eyesight-range conspiracy), when a fire starts, creating a huge apocalyptic event. However, the two clowns go into the bar unphased. Both clowns then turn opposite directions. The clown on the right sits down with his drink and takes out his book about the Victorian Era. He constantly checks his watch. The clown on the left disapears into the croud, and steals french fries from table 36. After three hours, they both walk to the back of the bar, simultaneously tying their shoes not noticing their similarity in career choices. They both open a door marked PRIVATE (while tying their shoes). After sixteen days of exactly the same thing happening repeatedly... Both clowns see eachother on the way out of the bar. Little do the know that they are being watched by the scientist I mentioned earlier. Two Years Later Both clowns die instantly after being attacked by a giant war hammer-wielding octopus on the way home from the circus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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