What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, It's not my fault, I found you in a zoo!

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Whats white and goes up? a confused snowflake

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What's funny and looks like a fish? A clown fish

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Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

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why do midgets surf in kitchens? because of microwaves.

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Do you know why the Mexican didn't like hot dogs? I don't know either.

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dont you love porch monkeys? no.

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A cat walks into a bar. She belongs to the owner, so he gives her a saucer of milk.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One asks the other "Isn't it hot in here?" To which the other replies, "Holy ****, a talking muffin!"

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Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

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What color do you wear if you're in the NAVY? Beige, white, sometimes camouflage - really, it depends on your rank and the situation.

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So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

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Why did the Christian man dislike gays? Because Christianity views being gay as a sin, and as a follower of the religion he decided he did not like gays.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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How do you tick off a Doctor? You cut off his right thumb.

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

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Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree? A: Throw a moneky at her

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What's big, green, has 4 legs, and if it falls out of a tree will kill you? A pool table

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he is quite wealthy.

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I'm sorry but your child seems to have fractured his spinal column and can no longer control any part of his body below his neck.

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A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender says: "Where would you like to sit, gentlemen"?

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Your mom goes to college. Actually, she graduated a while back!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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