One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

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I found my car in the lot with a broken tail-light and a note under the windscreen wipers. I accidentally reversed into your car, Lots of people saw me do it. They all think I'm writing down my name and details, Well, I'm not.

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What do you say to a black man driving a car? Taxi

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What is worse than braking a fingernail, Learing that a clown raped your entire family

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What did the rabbi say to the Muslim? I don't know I wasnt there. But it probably had something to do with their varying religions.

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why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

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What happens when a drunk driver meets a stoned driver? A head on collision

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When Chuck Norris plays Modern Warfare 2, he gets more care packages than Haiti did.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

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Doctor, I keep believing I am stuck in the Matrix! Oh thats common, you know existencial crisis and so on but we got medications, you want the blue or the red pill?

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A fish didn't walk into a bar, because fish cannot walk.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs Mat

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whats the difference between a black man and a cat? you dont run from a cat

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A man walks into a bar........ gets eaten by a lion.

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Why did the christmas tree smell like shit? because pavaroti used it as a dildo

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was shot In the face. Why did the cow fall out of the tree it was stapled to the monkey.

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Patient- Doctor! I feel like a piece of ****! Doctor- What is ****? Patient- It's four dots on the computer screen representing a curse word. Doctor- What computer screen?

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What's hot and cold at the same time? Hotcold.

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test

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What do you call Rosa Parks? One bitchy negro. Just kidding she was a visionary for human rights, now you can't dislike this cause you'll be saying that Rosa Parks wasn't a visionary, take that blacks.

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Why was the black man in Jail? He works there as a correctional officer.

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What did the boy with no mom get for Christmas? He was beaten by his drunken and abusive father.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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